Does My Belly Button Look too High?

Since I delivered Mikayla sixteen years ago, I’ve been dreaming of having a tummy tuck.  My first two children (Brittney and Brandon) were tiny little babies and my tummy flattened back out within a couple weeks.  But my last baby girl was a whopper!  It’s strange because I didn’t gain that much weight during my pregnancy, but for some reason she was really, Really, BIG.  She weighed slightly under ten pounds when she popped out (ouch!)   I remember looking down at her in the delivery room thinking she looked three months old.  Anyway, since that day, my belly has never been the same.

A couple years ago I talked to a cosmetic surgeon about having a tummy tuck, but couldn’t really justify the expense and was concerned about the pain/recovery.    Since then I’ve tried to flatten it out the old fashion way (which totally has not worked).  When Dr. BK explained how he could reconstruct my new lady part by using my stretched out poochy tummy (thanks to Mikayla), I was elated! 

Trace had warned me the tummy tuck was the worst part of the surgery and she was right!  I didn’t really realize this until they made me get up and walk to the bathroom the second day after surgery which is where this story begins. 

On day two, my favorite nurse, Emelda came bouncing into my room, annoyingly cheery and announced it’s time for me to get up!  I’m thinking she has lost her mind and there is no way I can even move an inch.  But with the help from a couple nurses and my Romeo, they somehow stood me up and made me walk two miles to the bathroom.  Oh heavens, I think I’m going to faint!

Okay, so I managed to *ahem* do what they want me to do in the little girls room.  As I am exiting the bathroom I get a quick glance of myself in the mirror.  I’m not sure what came over me, but I had to look under my tacky hospital gown to see how “things” looked.  So I slowly lifted it up and the first thing that hits me was, “OH MY GOSH, Dr. BK put my belly button in the wrong place!!”  How could this happen when he is the best plastic surgeon in the world?  From my perspective, it appeared off centered and waaay too HIGH!

I am standing there staring at my belly button (not even noticing anything else) when Romeo knocked on the door and asked if everything is okay.  I told him to come on in but I want him to look at my belly button.  He came in and assured me its fine and it just “looks” off center because I am more swollen on one side then the other.  Yeah right, whatever!  Maybe it’s all the pain pills that are affecting my vision and really everything looks perfect.

So let’s fast forward to when I arrive home a week later.  Thankfully, my belly button appears centered but I’m still convinced  that Dr. BK has placed it too high.  When no one is looking, I sneak into the closet and measure the space from the middle of my chest to my new belly button.  I do this because I remembered a Tulsa plastic surgeon took all kinds of measurements of my body (which I still had the medical records) when he consulted about doing my reconstruction.  AHh ha, I was right, it is TWO inches higher than it was before!  I’m trying not to panic, but my mind begins racing how Dr. BK is going to fix this error (and how much pain I’ll have to endure).

A couple hours later I casually ask Brittney and Mikayla about the placement of their belly buttons (I’m sure they thought I had lost my mind).  Of course, they still have young, beautiful flat tummies and don’t hesitate to lift up their shirts to show me.  Oh my, they have HIGH belly buttons too!  It is at this moment, I am horrified to realize my old belly button has been hanging low (more like sagging) for the past 16 years (or maybe longer).  Oh mercy me, I had no idea!  I’m sure I’ve been the laughing stock of the neighborhood pool as I’ve foolishly worn a belly-button-revealing bathing suit believing my only problem was my baby pooch.   I am totally flabbergasted!

But there is a moral to this story because I suspect at this very moment, you probably have the urge to go grab the measuring tape just to see if you have SBBS (sagging belly button syndrome.)  But trust me, don’t do it!   Some things are just better left unknown.   

Happy Thanksgiving Eve, Ya’ll!